Pull the Trigger
by DarkColdSummer
Summary: What happened in-between Burning and Drowning as well as the next time Percy and Leo met./Percy and Leo friendship because the fandom needs more of this./Trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/Sequel to BaD


-Sequel to Burning and Drowning-

-ties off from the last section of BaD-

* * *

(September 2005)

He traced the outlines of the dark blotches along the wall lightly using a pencil, the silver graphite contrasting the black shadows. The light soon shifted, as did the shadows, causing him to sigh as he stopped trying to draw shadows.

Just another phase, another fad. Well... one of dark sides and the "Percy" that no one ever noticed much before. It seemed like, when Leo left, he took his fiery spirit and ever-blazing light with him. Everything was empty, everything lacked its luster even more than before. Gabe stopped doing highly inappropriate things to the twelve year old, but continued (more viciously than before) to attempt to murder Percy, and the house was more gloomy than ever.

Leo left and stole the brighter light from the house; it was Leo's fault everything was so empty. It should be, he should feel that way and he had every right to!

...Then why couldn't he bring himself to feel anything at all?

* * *

He grabbed a few more necessities off the shelves and tossed them into his worn blue-orange backpack then stopped as he heard footsteps approaching his way. The eleven year old crept nimbly away and had to hold back laughter at the outraged cry of the shopkeeper swearing revenge on whoever had taken her wares. A smile crept across his face.

Leo loved the freedom that came with being on the run. How there was no one and nothing to hold him back other than himself. At the same time, he hated how he had to be alone while on the run. The emptiness at his side... He and Percy had gotten really close over the one and a half year they had together.

It didn't feel right without his other platonic half. Percy and Sally had not just wormed their way into his heart, but also became an essential part of his life. Life without the both of them? It seemed impossible.

Leo's lips curled into a sad frown and he sighed in self-depreciation.

Leaving the Jacksons' had to be the worst choice he had made in his entire decade of being alive.

* * *

(December 2005)

He curled up into a ball and ducked under the safe covers of his blanket. Tiny sobs escaped in between his gasps for air and tears trickled down his face. Hurriedly, he wiped away his tears and tried to calm his raging emotions as he heard his mother knocking on the door to his room.

"Percy, honey," Sally called out anxiously. "What's wrong? Can I come in?"

Percy's head escaped his blanket and he made a faint noise of agreement. Sally opened the door cautiously and sat down next to her son.

"What's wrong Percy?"

"Leo..."

Sally smiled sadly. "They'll find him."

"They won't."

"They will."

"Leo won't let them. And... then we'll never see him again!"

"We will honey. I swear it on the Styx."

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Mom. What's the Styx?"

* * *

He leapt over a beam and broke his fall by curling into a forward roll. Glancing behind him, he spotted the weird one-eyed guy rushing towards him, only to trip over the beam and fall flat on his face. Leo held back a snicker and settled for a cruel grin as he sprinted off in another direction.

The wind rushing past his face, he ducked into a tunnel and raced through it, darting in all sorts of directions until he finally came out of it. He hesitated, watching the ripples of the blue water along the coast. Waves of nostalgia hit him full force and he stumbled backwards, eyes still glued to the water.

Black hair and sea green eyes entered his mind's eye and he shook his head desperately to rid himself of the image. He had made his choice, and he would have to live with it. Still, however much he tried, the eleven year old just couldn't rid himself of Percy's image.

So, Leo slowly made his way to the seaside and stood there with his eyes closed, letting the waves lap at his feet. A calming feeling surged through him until he heard the angry roar of the one-eyed man again.

Leo's eyes snapped open and he looked around, spotting the one-eyed man in the distance. He hesitated, wondering if he should just let the man kill him, so that he could die in Percy's element. Thinking better of it, he darted off into the night.

There was a reason he avoided such large water bodies after all.

Reminders.

* * *

(May 2006)

He rolled the small lighter around between his hands, silently contemplating whether he really should do it. It'd only been a few years, but the memories of the little hispanic boy were slowly being drowned out by other memories. If he tried hard enough, he could still remember them, clear as day. Still, they were fAdInG and there was nOtHiNg much he could do.

Other than...

He lit the lighter cautiously, watching the orange and blue flicker, dangerously intrigued. Taking a short breath, he turned off the lighter and placed it close to his hip. Then he lit the lighter again.

The burning feeling was glorious. But at the same time, so so triggering.

Leo burst into flames, shocked by the sight of his scars. Percy held back a chuckle and pulled water from a cup and doused the flaming boy.

And more memories sped past his mind's eye.

Percy laughed as his flicked some flour at his adopted brother.

"Percy!" Leo shouted, holding back laughter.

"Leo!" Percy imitated.

The duo burst out into giggles.

"SHUT UP YOU BRATS!"

And more still.

"Percy?" Grover's voice called out.

Percy let go of the flame, shoved the lighter in a corner with all his other worksheets and summoned some water to douse his still burning skin, all in the span of time of a few seconds.

"Yes, Grover?"

* * *

He very well nearly got all breath knocked out of him. His brother was right there, just across the road, just out of reach. Percy was laughing, grinning and talking to another boy. There was no sparkle in his eye, which meant that he definitely wasn't better yet.

Still. His brother, was right there! Just... just barely out of reach...

Oh, why did he even begin to think that coming back was going to be a good idea? Percy didn't need him anymore anyway. He probably had a better life without Leo messing it up.

Time to run away again.

Run away from the first person to ever accept him as he was.

Run away from the only person he had ever found to be like him.

Run away from his second family.

* * *

(July 2006; TLT)

He stared skeptically at Annabeth and Grover. Were they really sure this was a good idea...?

"Well... staying the night should be fine..."

And then they were off, exploring the hotel with gusto. Percy sighed. Their sense of judgement was truly terrible. Then again, it wasn't their lives on the line. And they were exhausted.

...Backtrack a bit. Why was his life on the line again?

It didn't matter. He left their room and explored the games area himself.

Finding a suitable sword fighting game, he grabbed a fake blue sword, shrugged on the "armor" and met the opponent, a blond haired boy who looked around the same age as him. The boy sent him a grin, then waved his own red sword and got into fighting stance.

"You ready?" The boy asked.

"Bring it on, blondie," Percy replied, a cheeky grin on his face.

Five minutes later, Percy stood over the blondie, the latter's neck held at sword point.

"Yield?"

"Yield."

"I'm Percy by the way. Percy Jackson."

"And I'm Jason Grace."

They got along like a house on fire, burning up to flames and ashes. Nope. They would never again mention the ridiculous things they dared each other to do.

* * *

Leo's hands were shaking as he watched the news report off a random television. Percy was in trouble. His brother was in trouble. He glared at Gabe Ugliano. Stupid man. Making his brother's life living hell.

Then he looked closer, which was his greatest mistake.

Gabe's face was curled slightly in that stupid smirk that he always had when he had something cruel planned for either one of the two boys. Leo shrunk back. It was not going to be good for Percy at all.

Like-

Percy was yelling and screaming and why was everything hurting and what was going on and why couldn't he open his eyes everything was overwhelming he needed to open his eyes Percy needed help why couldn't he help what was he doing lying there on the cold hard ground why was he on the cold hard ground did it have anything to do with how he felt like he was being burned inside out and-

* * *

(December 2007; TTC)

He was running, trying his best to get away, his best to kill the gods damned skeletons that absolutely just refused to be killed. His eyes met those of the hispanic boy who started the food fight and a flash of recognition ran through him.

Leo!

The boy - Leo! Leo! It was Leo! He finally found Leo again! - smiled at him cheekily, almost in a "I know you and I know you know me" manner. Percy grinned back, excited for once in his life, then he hesitated. Leo saw what was going on.

Leo had to be a demigod.

That couldn't be good. He'd probably be the son of someone like Hephaestus, wouldn't he?

Then the skeletons followed him and he just couldn't help it, he had to run.

Later, he could have sworn he saw Jason by the docks again.

Even later, he went back to the area and looked to meet Jason again. The blond boy was nowhere to he found. He also traced back the school he saw Leo at after all the issues with Atlas and Nico and Zoë and Bianca, Leo was no where to be found. He had run away.

Again.

This time, because of him.

* * *

His brother, he'd spotted him, their eyes met, Percy hadn't forgotten him! It was almost ridiculous how he much his brother had changed. He'd grown more muscular and well-built and- Were those burn marks along his arm? What?! Oh no... He didn't cause them, did he?

Leo took a deep breath, breathing in and out. He had to leave. He couldn't stay. He ran away for a reason and the reason had found him. If Percy found him...

It wouldn't be good.

He had to leave.

Instantly.

* * *

(August 2009; TLO, post attack on Princess Andromeda, pre battle of Olympus)

He twirled Riptide around.

 _A half-blood of the eldest gods_

 _Shall reach sixteen against all odds_

 _And see the world in endless sleep_

 _The hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap_

 _A single choice shall end his days_

 _Olympus to preserve or raze_

Of course, he could stab himself in the mortal point and pass on the burden to Nico, who would have more time to prepare and have a more likely chance of leading the demigods out of battle alive. On the other hand, that was just cruel. Nico didn't deserve the burden. It was his, and Percy would do everything possible to keep it that way to just save Nico from having a fate such as his.

Besides, the prophecy did say he would die soon. There was no need to cause Nico's unnecessary death.

LiKe BiAnCa Or ZoË.

* * *

He panicked as footsteps came within his hearing range. Why was his luck so terrible? Why did people have to turn up at such a point in time? Why?

Leo's eyes flickered up to meet kaleidoscope ones. Piper McLean, daughter of famous movie star Tristan McLean. Her sharp eyes flickered across the corner, taking in the scene. Blood, blade and terrified teen.

"Well..." she drawled. "This was something I didn't expect."

To his surprise, Piper didn't leave. She knelt down next to him, produced a packet of tissues and a bandage, and started cleaning him up.

When he asked why, she smiled softly at him.

"No one deserves to be as alone as this."

For the first time in a long while, Leo felt like everything would be alright, even if only for a bit.

* * *

(December 2009; 3 days before TLH)

Percy felt strangely empty and disappointed. Sure, the demigods won, and the titans lost and the gods were all okay.

But...

Even more unnecessary deaths.

That weren't his.

And he was offered immortality.

What would living forever be like?

Torture probably.

At least he could help the other demigods even if he died.

Percy smiled sadistically at himself, a lighter burning his skin, and a pile of unwanted flammables at his feet. The moment he dropped the lighter, everything would catch fire and he would go with it.

"Not today, Perseus."

Percy snapped around, hearing the goddess' voice.

"Not today," Hera repeated, and snapped her fingers.

Everything went black from there.

* * *

Piper was cool about everything. Well... apart from that period of time in the beginning when she checked his wrists every other day, searched through his dorm and took every sharp object he could use to cut himself... Not that he didn't appreciate it, that someone was willing to take time out to worry and care for him. It was just that...

The feeling of that was... unnatural.

She shouldn't care about him at all, why did she even bother with him? He didn't even bother with himself! He didn't understand. Piper was confusing. Life was confusing.

He sighed to himself.

When was life ever easy?

When was life ever straightforward?

* * *

(July 2010; during SoN)

He felt strange, like really strange. Nothing really made sense.

...To be fair, he did have amnesia.

No, but the point was that there was something strange lingering behind what he was feeling, controlling him from behind the scenes. He didn't feel like a Percy; he felt more like an imposter in Percy's body.

He didn't have Percy's memories, he didn't have Percy's feelings. All he had was Percy's body. If only he just knew a little bit more about himself…

…

He didn't.

He didn't want to know any more about himself than he already did.

The first few memories were torture enough, and something inside of him told him that it wouldn't be the worst. So, out of instinct, he blocked out the incoming flow of memories and focused _focused_ ** _focused_** on the quest.

He could deal with his uselessness later.

* * *

He was building _building_ ** _building_** the ship that Annabeth so badly requested.

For Percy, he repeated to himself in his thoughts. For Percy. Not for Annabeth or Jason or Piper or Nico or anybody else. For Percy.

This "Percy Jackson" the entire Camp Half-Blood was looking for could be his Percy. His Percy. And he was so close, only a ship away and-

-they could finally meet again. They could finally meet again!

The sudden realisation slammed Leo like a sledgehammer.

What if Percy hated him? What if Percy hated him for running away? What if Percy couldn't stand to see Leo and how far he'd fallen? What if Percy forgot about him?

What if?

He sighed.

It wouldn't do either of them justice if he didn't just try.

(And he kept building. Building _building_ ** _building_**.)

* * *

(August 2010; start of MoA)

His hands couldn't stop fidgeting. He was tugging on his cloak, his shirt, anything that his hands saw fit. Sue him for being nervous.

The face on the scroll that had been sent down; it was more mature, more greased, but definitely his Leo. Without a doubt. Gods, even though the voice had cracked, it was still very obviously Leo's.

What if Leo didn't want him around?

What if Leo was doing better?

What if Leo didn't remember him at all?

What if Leo ran away because he hated him in the first place?

What if?

* * *

The worries were coming back full flood.

They weren't that bad back at CHB, building the Argo II.

Heck, they weren't even existent when he was boarding the ship, ready to fly off to Camp Jupiter.

But now, they were drowning him (like Percy could when they met again).

His eye twitched as Annabeth judo-flipped Percy (definitely his Percy) to the ground. His arm flexed, and it took almost all his willpower to not lunge at Annabeth and tear her away from his Percy.

One, two, three.

It was fine.

Annabeth was Percy's girlfriend after all, and they hadn't seen each other for eight months.

 _But you haven't for years_ , a possessive little voice snarled at Annabeth in his head.

 _Who's fault is that_ , another retorted.

Leo took a deep breath as Percy's eyes met his, and plastered on a smile as much as he could.

Percy smiled back, a knowing grin on his face.

* * *

 **Word count: 2848 words**

* * *

 _(A/N: That almost very literally took forever to write. I'M SORRY. I haven't had much inspiration to write lately. …At least I wrote something? Hehe? I'M SORRRYYY._

 _Cheers,  
_ _Summer-Moon)_


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